


let it be

by unheard_secret



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-19
Updated: 2014-10-19
Packaged: 2018-02-21 18:29:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2478197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unheard_secret/pseuds/unheard_secret
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was sudden. One minute they were just standing in the TARDIS, grateful to be alive, and the next they were sharing the same space and his lips were pressed against hers. He caged her in, one hand on the wall beside her head, the other wrapped possessively around her waist.</p><p>[Does anyone else feel like the Doctor and Clara are inches away from a melodramatic confession of love?... It's just me? Oh, well. That's fine.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	let it be

**Author's Note:**

> I like being warned if there's any sort of infidelity in a fic, and so I'm going to extend the same courtesy and warn that Clara is still in a relationship with Danny Pink when she confesses her love for the Doctor in this. 
> 
> I will add, though, that despite the emotional infidelity there's no Danny bashing. I love Danny too much to do that.

It was sudden. One minute they were just standing in the TARDIS, grateful to be alive, and the next they were sharing the same space and his lips were pressed against hers. He caged her in, one hand on the wall beside her head, the other wrapped possessively around her waist.

She didn't come back to herself until he started to pull away. "Clara," he said. "We shouldn't -"

Clara shook her head, refuting his words. "No," she said. "I want this." She tried to tug him close again, pulling him in by his jacket. 

The Doctor resisted her, preserving the scant inches between their bodies. "No, Clara. Don't. Don't toy with me."

Clara looked up at him, her skin humming with desire. She felt loopy with it. Half out of her head. "Toy with you, Doctor?" She gave him a sultry grin. "Would I do such a thing?"

The Doctor gazed at her for several long seconds, his gaze digging beneath her skin. It washed over her like ice; dragging her back to reality. She tensed. It felt like he could see her every thought. Her every desire.

Her last words rang through her head. _Would I do such a thing?_

The Doctor leaned in close, lips right near her ear and whispered, "Yes." Then he stepped away, his hand leaving her waist. He turned toward the console, his tread slow and deliberate as he made his way across the metal floor. 

Clara tried to take a breath, but it caught in her throat. Her skin felt like it was on fire where he'd touched her. She pushed off from the wall, watching his back as he walked away. 

Her hands curled into fists, the knuckles turning white. A long moment passed while she made her decision. Then she looked up, resolved. "What if I'm serious?" she asked. "What if I want this?"

The Doctor turned his head to the side. "You don't want this, Clara."

"How do you know? How do you know what I want?" Clara took a deep breath and felt a dizzying rush. She was finally doing this. Finally. "You think you know me so well. But, Doctor -" She stepped forward. "You hardly know me at all."

The Doctor turned to look at her. His gaze was piercing as he tried to read her. Clara tilted her head to one side, challenging him not to see her want, her desire. Her love. The Doctor scowled and turned away. 

"I'm taking you home," he said. "Someone needs to talk some sense into you and it clearly can't be me."

"Who's it going to be then, Doctor?" asked Clara. "Danny?"

The Doctor's shoulders tensed and he refused to look around. 

Clara gave a hollow laugh. "Oh, of course. That's exactly what you're going to do. You're going to take me back home to Danny Pink. You think that this is temporary and the boyfriend -" Clara spat the word with venom "- is going to be able to talk some sense into me."

The Doctor reached out and pulled a lever down with more force than was necessary. 

Clara strode behind him and shoved the lever back into place. 

The Doctor rounded on her, fierce and angry. "Why did you do that?"

Clara pulled herself as tall as she could and looked defiantly up at him. "You're not sending me back, Doctor. Not like this. Not before we've talked."

The Doctor turned and glared at her, then stepped back spreading his hands in an patronising gesture of peace. "Talked about what?" he asked, viciously. "Talked about the fact that we kissed? Or the fact that you've obviously gone out of your mind? How about we talk about that? There must have been something in the water on Pettabee, because the Clara I know never would have -"

Clara cut him off with a furious motion. "The Clara you know never would have what, Doctor? Never kiss you back? Never wanted anything more? Because I do, Doctor." Clara paused, her anger dissipating, departing as quickly as it had come. She caught the Doctor's eyes and wouldn't let them go. When she spoke again, it was with nothing more than naked, painful sincerity, "I do, Doctor. I do want more."

The Doctor ran a hand through his hair and then reached out to Clara, appealing to her. "But you can't."

Clara gave him a tired smile. "Why not?"

The Doctor sat down in the chair by the console. He ran a hand over his face, trying to clear his head. He looked up at Clara as though he'd never really seen her before. "What about Danny Pink?"

Clara moved to stand over him, her knees almost touching his. She looked down at him with an almost tender expression. "I knew you knew his name."

The Doctor's stern expression fractured, and he winced. He glanced away, his eyes lingering on Clara's waist - tantalising and within arms reach. When he looked back, his gaze locked with hers and she could see the same desire that burned in her echoed in his eyes. It gave her the strength to speak. 

"I love Danny, Doctor," she said. The Doctor opened his mouth, but Clara pressed her finger to his lips before he could say a word. "I love Danny, Doctor." She repeated. "But I also love you. If I lived in the perfect world I would have both of you. I would choose both of you. But, Doctor -" She took a deep breath. "Doctor, we don't live in the perfect world, and instead I'm spending my days being tugged first one way and then the other. I feel like I'm being pulled in two and I can't stand it any more. So, this is me. Making my choice."

The Doctor gazed up at her, and Clara flinched away from the sorrow she saw in his gaze. She pulled her finger away and stepped back. 

The Doctor slowly licked his lips. "Clara -" The Doctor's voice was rough. He cleared his throat before speaking again. "Clara, you can have us both. We can continue as we have been -" He paused looking away. "I don't - I don't need anything more. We can just be -"

"Friends?" Clara interrupted. 

The Doctor looked back at her, his face open and exhausted. He looked raw, as though his defences had been stripped away by emotions he couldn't hide a moment longer. "Yes," he said. "Friends. It would be enough."

"Maybe for you," said Clara. "But, Doctor -" She paused and stepped closer, going down to her knees in front of the Doctor, clasping his warm hands in her own. "Doctor, it wouldn't be enough for me."

She leaned forward and pressed her forehead to the back of his hands. It was easier to talk like that - touching but not seeing. "Danny won't let me keep you," she said. "He'll demand that I leave, and when that doesn't happen -" She choked at the thought. "When that doesn't happen because I could never -" She took a deep breath, gathering herself again. "He'll make you go away. He'll tell you that you're bad for me, and you'll - You'll believe him, and you'll go. So, you see, I can't have you both. I have to make a choice. I have to. And Doctor -"

Clara looked up, her eyes wet. "Doctor -" she whispered. "I choose you."

The Doctor looked down at her impassively for a long moment. Then he pulled his hands from hers. Clara let out a choked breath. 

She'd thought she'd been prepared for him to break her heart. 

She'd been wrong. 

Then he leaned forward, one hand slowly touching her damp cheek. 

"You'd choose me?" 

Clara nodded. 

The Doctor's hand slipped from her cheek to the back of her head, sliding over her hair to cup the back of her head. His touch was light as his thumb caressed her scalp. "Well," he said softly. "Then."

Clara looked up at him, confused. 

The Doctor slid forward off his seat and joined her on the floor. His other hand wrapped around her waist. He pulled her close, pressing her forehead to his breast. He leaned down and rested his cheek on her head, closing his eyes. He breathed softly, only just loud enough for Clara to hear. "In that case, I suppose I'll have to choose you in return."


End file.
